serial killer

I came home from work early today and there was a man in my apt replacing the bathroom cabinet under the sink. A pesky leak was causing some unsavory mold to appear on the premises. The man working in the bathroom seemed perfectly polite and quite reasonable so I went about fixing some lunch. After ripping open a bag of Fritos it dawned on me this guy was probably going to murder me and cut me into tiny bits and throw me in the dumpster. I nonchallantly strolled to my room and sneakily grabbed my switchblade from my dresser drawer. The knife was a christmas gift from a friend a few years ago. Nothin says happy holidays like a deadly weapon. Illegal no less. After retrieving the knife I continued to prepare my lunch, which consisted of microwaving a bowl of soup and munching on Fritos while watching Celebrity Rehab from the kitchen. The thought occurred that if in fact I was going to have to face off with the plumber/construction guy I had better prepare myself mentally and emotionally to get bloody. Which I did. As I was stirring my soup I conjured up images of having to stab him in the neck, the jugular to be exact. Then I sat down for lunch. After he left I texted this whole scenario to my friend who gave me the knife and told him the guy looked a little scared when he left. My friend responded "he probably thought you were going to molest him."